2007
03.21

The Bahamian judge has finally ordered a DNA to figure out who the lucky father of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern is.

So guys, go to your local doctor to submit your DNA for testing. Thanks.

Howard K. Stern’s and Larry Birkhead’s DNA will both be tested. But what if Dannielynn doesn’t belong to either of them? Let’s look at the list of potential fathers…

(1) Larry Birkhead — Ex-boyfriend, photographer.
According to most betting sites, Larry has the best odds of being little Dannielynn’s father. Birkhead emerged from the hearing today looking rather thrilled to be there.

(2) Howard K. Stern — lawyer, apparent boyfriend and fake wedding partner.
This self-proclaimed father is a close second behind Birkhead in the probability race. Watch out for the methadone, Dannielynn.

(3) Howard J. Marshall — late 90-year-old husband.
We’ve all heard of OJ Simpson’s slow traveling sperm theory, Anna’s half-sister insists that Marshall’s frozen sperm is actually the culprit.

(4) Prince Frederic von Anhalt — Zsa Zsa Gabor’s ninth husband.
A man who once sued Viagra for making him impotent could be the little millionaires’ father, who knew?

That’s one photographer, one lawyer, an elderly impotent German Prince, and a dead billionaire all lining up to lay claim to Dannielynn and her fortune. Good thing she has millions of inheritance coming her way, she’ll need it for all of the therapy fees.

Are you the baby’s daddy?

  1. I get the feeling its Birkheads. from the pictures i saw of the little tike it looks the most like him. perhaps maybe its the murderous lawyer. But for anyone to think it was the old fogeys or that wanna be prince twit come on now lay off the wacky tabacky.


  2. (3) Howard J. Marshall — late 90-year-old husband.
    We’ve all heard of OJ Simpson’s slow traveling sperm theory, Anna’s half-sister insists that Marshall’s frozen sperm is actually the culprit.

    Uh is the kids name really what you wrote? Because if so why the heck did she put Marshall in there? I mean that’s a little odd for me.

    And there is one more. There is like a chef or ex chef of hers that claims he is also the father. He’s like European or something.

  3. Oh goodness.
    I just want this crap over with. Haha.

  4. I’d love to see it not be ANY of them. That would be great.

  5. this whole time they could have done a dna test. wouldnt that be the most obvious thing to do?….

  6. i bet miss cleo would know

  7. I pity the baby =| She just lost her mother not long ago and she doesn’t even know who her daddy is

  8. Its totally Prince Frederic von Anhalt. Then Zsa Zsa order her dead. Only for her to die later on…. totally dramarific

  9. [quote comment=”18603″]i bet miss cleo would know[/quote]
    Miss Cleo’s a fraud. She’ can’t read a regular playing card deck.. I can but she can’t. *pfft*

  10. dont say that about ms cleo. she had a very exciting dream about me!

  11. [quote comment=”18596″]
    Uh is the kids name really what you wrote? Because if so why the heck did she put Marshall in there? I mean that’s a little odd for me.

    And there is one more. There is like a chef or ex chef of hers that claims he is also the father. He’s like European or something.[/quote]

    Yeah, the baby’s name really does have Marshall in it. Vickie Lynn Marshall was Anna Nicole Smith’s real name, so maybe she wanted to remind everyone in the Marshall family that she had a large chunk of their money? Who knows.

    There are hundreds of men out there that have claimed to be the father. I just hope this doesn’t turn into a nation wide search.

  12. I wish I was that baby’s daddy. That baby is cute. I’d even say I wish my husband was in the front running for it, but then I’d have to have him tested for all kinds of creepy diseases since he did anna. But still that baby is gorgeous….point being it cannot be Howard K. Sterns child.