2007
08.24

Wake Up Bomb

Hurricane Flossie is the fucking stupidest name for a hurricane in the entire history of hurricanes.

I was traveling when it stumbled across the headlines. When I returned, my wife said “Have you heard about Flossie?”

Now, to me, Flossie sounds like the name of a cow, so I figure she’s talking about a cow.

“No, what about her?”

“She’s about to destroy Hawaii.”

See, so now I’m thinking “mad cow disease” or maybe “really bad cow flatulence.”

“Why? What did they feed her?”

Ha ha.

Anyhow, a hurricane should have a threatening, imposing name, like Hurricane Fuck-you-up or Hurricane Otto or something. Hurricane Mother Fucking Apocalypse You Die Now Fucker.

Flossie.

Jesus Christ.

  1. Hurricane Jesus Christ sounds like it’s going to come to Hawaii and bless you. That sounds almost as bad as Flossie.

    But not as bad as Hurricane Wipey. Or Hurricane Kissy-Cootchoo!

  2. Hurricane Cupcake.
    Hurricane Snowflake.
    Hurricane Creampuff.

  3. JESUS!!! YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOOOOO BITCHY!!!!!!!

    – And I am SOOOOOO linking you!

    haha