2005
04.20

I’m the most horrible story teller…well, of all time. I will tell a story and then half way through it, I figure out it’s completely stupid and not really funny at all. So that’s it. I’m DONE telling stories..

Just kidding, I’ve got one more.

TZ200420111737623.jpg

Today I took the TAKS test : Part 1 of 3 MATH! For those of you fortunate enough not to have ever lived in Texas, it is basically a test that measures whether or not you’re a fucking moron. As you can see by the “formula chart”, it doesn’t take much more than a 3rd grade education to pass the dang thing. This only perpetuates the idea that people from Texas are idiots. I concur.
Let’s examine the evidence:

Actual test question given to third graders in 2004:

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Actual test question given to eleventh graders in 2004:

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(I marked the answers so you would feel stupid for getting it wrong)

WTF! Throw in a graph and some more lines and it’s the same f’ing question. There were kids who took OVER 4 HOURS to answer questions similar in difficulty to these. One girl asked for a DICTIONARY. A DICTIONARY ON A MATH TEST?!@$@#$ Add, subtract, multiply, divide! I hate mexicans…but I can say that since I’m half.

There really wasn’t a point to this story. I’m just angry because I couldn’t use my cell phone to read bash.org because I was wasting my time looking up words at dictionary.com.

  1. hey, texas rocks. I think TAKs test are some of the best standardized tests I’ve seen (for the younger kids at least).

  2. don’t get me wrong, i love texas but jesus christ. i dont think that i should not get to graduate just because of a TEST. i think if i get all the credit requirements, i should be able to walk with everyone else. little kids are morons by the way (no offense to the little moozilla)

  3. Lil’ Baby Moo takes no offense. He could probably get a better TAKS score than you anyway LOL

  4. nearly all the states require that students pass some weird standardized tests in order to graduate.

  5. How long have I been away for? It’s like a sci fi movie…except I’m not allowed a dictionary.