2005
04.20

I’m the most horrible story teller…well, of all time. I will tell a story and then half way through it, I figure out it’s completely stupid and not really funny at all. So that’s it. I’m DONE telling stories..

Just kidding, I’ve got one more.

TZ200420111737623.jpg

Today I took the TAKS test : Part 1 of 3 MATH! For those of you fortunate enough not to have ever lived in Texas, it is basically a test that measures whether or not you’re a fucking moron. As you can see by the “formula chart”, it doesn’t take much more than a 3rd grade education to pass the dang thing. This only perpetuates the idea that people from Texas are idiots. I concur.
Let’s examine the evidence:

Actual test question given to third graders in 2004:

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Actual test question given to eleventh graders in 2004:

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(I marked the answers so you would feel stupid for getting it wrong)

WTF! Throw in a graph and some more lines and it’s the same f’ing question. There were kids who took OVER 4 HOURS to answer questions similar in difficulty to these. One girl asked for a DICTIONARY. A DICTIONARY ON A MATH TEST?!@$@#$ Add, subtract, multiply, divide! I hate mexicans…but I can say that since I’m half.

There really wasn’t a point to this story. I’m just angry because I couldn’t use my cell phone to read bash.org because I was wasting my time looking up words at dictionary.com.

  1. How long have I been away for? It’s like a sci fi movie…except I’m not allowed a dictionary.

  2. nearly all the states require that students pass some weird standardized tests in order to graduate.

  3. Lil’ Baby Moo takes no offense. He could probably get a better TAKS score than you anyway LOL

  4. don’t get me wrong, i love texas but jesus christ. i dont think that i should not get to graduate just because of a TEST. i think if i get all the credit requirements, i should be able to walk with everyone else. little kids are morons by the way (no offense to the little moozilla)

  5. hey, texas rocks. I think TAKs test are some of the best standardized tests I’ve seen (for the younger kids at least).