2006
08.19

I am absolutely convinced that our mail-lady only comes once every three days. In the two months since we moved into our new apartment, I have only seen her twice. Oddly enough, both times she was parked near my building, sitting in her little mail truck, eating a sandwich. Not that I have ever been the greatest fan of mail carriers, but this is bullshit.

I know federal law requires that all mail be delivered by 6pm, but I am not sure if there is a law to prevent the carrier from waiting until a building has enough mail to make it worth her while to walk to our building… I’m sure there is. The problem is… how do I prove it?

My neighbors, being creatures of reasonable intelligence, and obviously possessing more patience than I do, have apparently accepted the flaw with our mail system, and only pull the mail from there boxes once a week. From the breakdown and acceptance, it appears all is well… all the mailboxes are full, Deloris Cunterson gets her sandwich, and nothing I order on eBay actually arrives the same day the delivery confirmation states.

I would like very much to confront our mail lady of ill morals, but I believe I know exactly what she is going to say, “Rockgrrl should’ve been voted off.”

Delivery, however, is not the only thing keeping our postal system from being worth its weight in Sweet Tarts. There is a definitive lack of consistency between representatives not only at different offices, but sometimes within the same building. For example, if I go to the Manville Post Office, and the character I call Budd Bundy is working the counter, he has no problem throwing an extra piece of tape or two on my packages to ensure they arrive safely. The Indian lady however, doesn’t know what tape means… go ahead, ask for it… the only thing I could understand her saying was “NO MEAT.” Go to the Somerville post office, and they won’t look up a zip code for you. This post office takes it to a new level though; their associates want “NO MEAT AND NO CHEESE.”

Ever try changing your address? All of my friends said it would be so easy… I still don’t have the forms. To be honest, if anyone could tell me what the form is called in south Asian language, I would really appreciate it. I believe I’ve heard enough of the “No Meat” ramblings to tell you, “Change of Address form” is not what they call it.

  1. Ouch, that sucks so badly! I think I’d get seriously upset if I noticed my the mail person doing that. I always order things online and I like them speedily. Grr. I think you ought to confront her or report her. There has to be something you can do.

  2. …I know federal law requires that all mail be delivered by 6pm…

    Can you cite this?

  3. Go to your local postmaster and complain. They HAVE to investigate. She puts residents at risk by leaving the mail unsecure in her mail truck overnight to deliver when she feels like it. She obviously doesnt take it back to her post, or they’d know she isnt delivering the mail. So where does it go?? Maybe she is picking through it to get the BD cards and such.. get my point? Turn her in…

  4. Hello, it’s nice to meet you I’m your neighhor. How are you liking Indiana other than the shitty postal service.

    I swear they have an annual postal convention to see what excuses they can come up with to screw me.

  5. Well, at least she was just eating a sandwich. My mailman sits on my porch and has himself a beer. Our mail is sometimes a month late. And sometimes if we’re really lucky, it’s not even in one piece! How sweet is that?

  6. Lisa, you already have me beat, but I thought you might like this. The UPS guy delivered an amplifier we had ordered on ebay… after I signed for it, he offered to buy it off me, and wanted me to install it for him, lol.

  7. Yellow Hobbit on August 20, 2006 at 6:37 am said:

    Lisa, you already have me beat, but I thought you might like this. The UPS guy delivered an amplifier we had ordered on ebay… after I signed for it, he offered to buy it off me, and wanted me to install it for him, lol.

    Lol where do these companies find these people? I mean they’re dealing with mail. You’d think these places would be more careful about hiring.