2006
03.20

I did it. I joined an Internet dating site; and not just for shits & giggles like the last time. This time I did it out of frustration with the typical avenues of meeting people and dating in general. I did it because I am fed up with recycling the same guys who still have the same issues. I did it out of loneliness and maybe even a bit of desperation.

Okay, a lot of desperation.

I joined a site recommended to me by a few people, including my aesthetician who recently became enamoured with a guy she met online. It’s free to join and use, which is a bonus. The thought of handing over my credit card in an effort to meet guys depresses me to no end. It’s like prostitution without the sex. If I’m going to pay to meet men, I at least want to get sex out of the deal!

With the help of a girlfriend, I set up my new online profile. This was the most nerve-racking thing I have done in recent memory. More stressful than putting together my resume for a kick-ass job I really wanted; more stressful than applying to the bank for a mortgage. I had no idea it would be so difficult to put together a profile of myself that would make me sound fun, cool, easy going and overall appealing to potential mates. Do I sound too stuck up? Too fake? Too dumb? Too needy? Too independent? Is my write up too cliché? Too cheesy? Too contrived? Do I sound too desperate? Too nonchalant?

Picking my user name was the most difficult task. I didn’t want to use any variation of my real name so that ruled out the majority of my nick names and I wasn’t keen on advertising the others, like “Great Ball of Evil”, a nickname with staying power, given to me by a disgruntled Ex. A friend suggested using a lyric or title from a favourite song, which seemed like a good idea. “Just don’t use Desperado!” he advised.

As I continued, I only encountered more problems. What are my hobbies? What do I do with my time? I like the outdoors but I’m rarely outside. If I enter that my hobbies include watching Reality TV and sleeping, would that get me any dates? If it did, would they be people I’d even want to date? I enjoy all sorts of things and activities but I never do them. Would I be lying if I said kayaking was an interest even if I have only been 3 times in my life, the most recent being last spring? I am INTERESTED in kayaking; I just don’t do it often. Would I be exaggerating if I said bike riding was a hobby, even though I never go riding? Instead I spend time on the couch think about how I SHOULD get out riding more often. I could be a fun, active person; I just need someone to be fun and active with, hence my joining the dating site.

The profile picture was probably the easiest part of the whole exercise. I’m not bad looking, so it was just a matter of finding some pictures with good angles and only one chin. I even threw in one picture where I am outside, hiking AND near the water, just for good measure!

As it turns out, compiling a profile is really just an exercise in creative writing, however this was a torturous exercise that truly tested my self-confidence and worth. I know I am a good catch, but how do I let others know it!? Unfortunately the test is only beginning because now my little profile has gone to sea and I have to wait and see if I get a bite. In fact, I’ve already received some messages and sent some out as well. So far things look promising!

Jillian is 27 years old and single. She has dated more than her fair share of men and still has had no luck finding anything serious or worthwhile. Her last relationship ended in the summer and Jillian hasn’t had a real date or viable love interest in over six months, unless you count the Polish guy from the grocery store who asked her to a movie. Will she ever find a good man or be destined to spend her life alone with only her cats and her vibrator as companions?

  1. Damn, I almost felt like slitting my wrists reading that until you mentioned your vibrator!!

    I feel better now =)

  2. which means all that was heard was

    blah blah blah blah blah blah VIBRATOR

  3. I disagree. All I saw was ‘has dated more than her fair share of men’, and thought slut-who-is-now-desperate-to-get-married.
    Sorry :/

    Oh, and when you say ‘polish guy’, you mean a guy who sells cleaning stuff, not a Polish guy from Poland, right?

  4. TGO4LIFE on March 20, 2006 at 1:41 am said:

    which means all that was heard was

    blah blah blah blah blah blah VIBRATOR

    blah blah blah yeah, that’s it!!

    Carol on March 20, 2006 at 3:58 am said:

    I disagree. All I saw was ‘has dated more than her fair share of men’, and thought slut-who-is-now-desperate-to-get-married.

    Now that you mentioned it, I read it that way too between the blah blahs but the vibrator stole the show! =)

  5. Carol on March 20, 2006 at 3:58 am said:

    Oh, and when you say ‘polish guy’, you mean a guy who sells cleaning stuff, not a Polish guy from Poland, right?

    Where else do you get Polish guys from? Crap, don’t tell me THEY are made in Taiwan, too!

  6. is “polish” PC for shoe shine boy?

  7. Actually it was an err on my part. I have since edited it.

  8. TGO4LIFE on March 20, 2006 at 1:41 am said:

    which means all that was heard was

    blah blah blah blah blah blah VIBRATOR

    ROFFFFLLL..

  9. Carol on March 20, 2006 at 3:58 am said:

    Oh, and when you say ‘polish guy’, you mean a guy who sells cleaning stuff, not a Polish guy from Poland, right?

    Hehe. :)

  10. Did you go to the movies with the Polish guy? Lol :P

    Polish guy from Taiwan? heh.

  11. Oh wow. You really didn’t need a million paragraphs about how hard it was to fill out the profile. I got the idea clearly when you described it as “nerve-racking”.

    This piece was too contrived and too cliche. And if you really can’t fill out a profile without so many problems, you should probably be focusing on figuring out who you are before bringing another person into the mix.

  12. Ok rather than cut down someone’s post about an obviously sensitive subject – I’m gonna say: Good luck and more good luck. I’ve tried dating sites and they tend to mostly suck.

    Of course I am involved with someone I originally met off of a dating site so uhm nevermind me. However, it’s been a long hard relationship over the past two years. We had a lot of changin’ to do before we really got it together. We don’t even match our profiles anymore.

    Keep writing about your dating adventures!