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After all the hoopla on TV and the big promotional deal FIFA made with McDonald’s, and the simple fact that no matter where I go I bump into it, I figured I would chime in with my thoughts on the biggest sports spectacle since…
The World Cup, friends, is the big thing today. Countries from around the world are putting their pride and respect and all their marbles on the line to say they are indeed the best soccer team on Earth.
Those that know me know I am a big baseball fan, I can follow football, basketball is a dead sport to me, and hockey? Those bums betrayed the fans, and they lost me as a loyal fan (not that I was loyal before, but I didn’t see one game this season, which is a rarity).
So how does John feel about soccer and the World Cup?
I could give a flying fuck. In all seriousness, I am sick and tired of hearing those lame McDonald’s commercials
“You got me the World Cup?”
“No…. I got you the World Cup Value Meal”
“You’re a champ!”
No, you’re a buffoon. But that’s not all that pisses me off about this. Everywhere I go, I see people wearing soccer jerseys representing different teams. Brazil, Colombia, and England are big around here.
I am still looking for my first USA jersey. You’d think with 275 million people in the country, someone would have one, right?
We don’t. Want to know why? Because we don’t give a shit. We’ve got baseball, one of the most difficult sports to play because you have a wooden stick about 3 inches wide and your goal is to swing at a 4 inch wide ball that’s flying at you at speeds averaging 80-100 miles an hour.
There’s football, with eleven guys charging at each other, clashing and rhinosmashing against each other to try and prevent each other from gaining yardage and scoring touchdowns. Defense, offense, special teams, and more game plans than the NSA has.
Basketball is boring until the last five minutes of the game, because that’s when it really starts. And hockey, as pathetic it was to not have a season of it, is also exciting because you can see a fight at any time during the game.
Soccer? These guys can spend 90 minutes running around a field, not score a single goal, and call it a night when it’s all said and done. Their fans light torches in the stands and stomp on each other if their teams don’t win. Thank God this only takes place every four years.
By the way, is it over yet?
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