2007
01.23

I have lived the last year and a half with some one who’s mood changes like the weather and general opinion of me and life has been something on constant disapproval and a holier than though tone. Like, my relationship is broken because we actually like and understand each other as people. Right.

I walk into my apartment after a long annoying day at work. There’s nothing more rewarding right? Uhm, some one else’s life maybe.

To give you some background so you understand where this is going: I decided I wasn’t going to clean the apartment anymore because I don’t remember the last time anyone but me seriously got down with some Clorox and a mop. And no one does. If my roommate cleans its just series of sweeping and mopping. Never scrub so hard you need a manicure and your get high off the cleaning products absorbed through your skin. Wimpy cleaning I guess….

So I walk in and everything is wiped down, the floors are being mopped and there is my roommate attached to the mop, which is mopping. “I decided to clean,” She says gleefully.

“Mmm” mumbles me with the dirtiest look on my face. I put my bag up on the thing that holds stuff.

She says, “Is there something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine, actually.” I reply, making sure I project my voice over the blaring chic music that seems to be the only CD she knows how to put into my stereo. Money, phone, keys, dog and we’re out.

Now, as a routine, the second I come home, I walk my dog. Without even asking I can just tell that he hasn’t been walked since Nugbut left for work… but the thing is she’ll take him with her when she wants to act like he’s hers but never asks- Just, “Where’s the leash?” like we borrowed it from her.

Imagine some one just walks away with your child whenever they want but when it comes to change a diaper just leaves ‘er there crying…

This morning I stayed home a little late and retrieved my inner bitch from my nightstand, “I’m sorry, I stayed home just to spend some extra time with Chimi. Can you not take him?”

She takes the leash off and leaves it in the middle of the floor…. but even though I know I made her mad- if it were the other way around she would stuff the dog up her vag hole so she could sneak it into work just so me and Christian couldn’t get any joy from it.

And I don’t even know why it’s like this because it really shouldn’t be. We used to be friends. Really good friends. I think we only bonded because there was a third roommate that we didn’t get along with for whatever reason. And then her sweet, confused self started pointing all of her insecurities at me.

And since I am so secure with myself, my image and my place in the world- it irked me but I can’t say I cared because I felt bad. I felt obligated to stick to our plan of getting a new apartment because it was the plan -even though our “friendship” was falling apart…

And then came Christian and my job… Followed by my roommate telling everyone how I was obsessed with my boyfriend and that our relationship was not normal (Probably to anyone who would listen) and how I don’t drink like a sailor anymore so then there must be even more wrong with me.

Really I just worked 11 hours days commuting all the way up to Guam and back… This was all coming from some one whose ideal happy healthy relationship was with some one whom — to paraphrase: “felt like he was babysitting her. Felt like there was nothing left for her here and she move back home”

The last time I tried to make things work she antagonized my boyfriend verbally to the point where everything I just typed slipped out of my mouth and there was a screaming match until the sun rose. I feel like every effort just to make peace ends up on my face in the form of juicy shit and I’m done. The friendship has been over for a very very long time and the only reason either of us is still here: we signed a two year lease.

So I return from my dog walk through the misty fog of Sunset Park. The floors are drying, the music is off. The bucket floating in the other bedroom, again attached to my roommate. Leash on hooky-holdy-ma-bob. I open my bedroom door and the entirety of our Christmas is right there in front of me.

I froze. I think I was confused because she had all the intentionally awkward silence to tell me where the fuck she put my shit instead she puts it in my doorway so I can trip over it. And for what? So she can pour cleaning products on the floor and feel proud that she knew how to open the child safety seal?

I may never sign a lease again. In the mean time I am going to stare at this pile of crap at my doorway and may god help to hold me back because I have to last until June 30th in this hell pit.

  1. Good lord, I can’t imagine the nightmare you’re going through. She totally sounds like a nutjob.

    I say you and Christian get a job selling water ices on a small island and live in grass huts.

  2. I hope you can survive until June 30th. You deserve cake.. or cookies.. or both if you can hold out.

  3. Jezz, I can’t imagine being around someone like that for that long. It’s hard enough being around those types at school for 8 hours. 0.0