Wait, it wasn’t the Grammy Awards, it was the… um… crap.

That’s it, it was crap!

Love Jon Stewart, as he was the only reason for me to tune in to the whateveritwas awards last night, I tuned in to about 23 seconds. Most of that was when I was swapping back and forth between several channels, part of it was when the Lil’ Moo had the remote control and had no clue what that gold little man was doing.

Forget the fact the only people that cared who was getting the Best Actor award were the nominees, there was nothing that said, “Turn on the TV and watch this crap.” Instead, there was other crap to watch, and watch we did.

I don’t think I could name any movies up for grabs, either. This is the movies awards, right?

Honestly, all these awards shows are crap. Yay, let’s pat ourselves in the back for a job well done, even though most of the public probably never heard of our stuff because they were too busy seeing “Spider-Man 3″ and “Pirates of the Carribean” this summer.

Let’s face it. This is just a way for the movie industry to get people excited for movies they weren’t really excited for the first time they came out. “Wow, this won an award for Best Movie, we need to see this, Alice!”

Because that’s how I judge whether I’m going to see a movie.

If it great reviews by a bunch of guys who still screen their movies without sound like the “good old days” and think stadium seating is going to ruin the movie business, I’m out. I don’t need Gene Shalot telling me what a good movie is: I know what I want to see, and a guy wearing a bow-tie the size of a small child is probably not going to have the same tastes as I do.

So go ahead, Oscar. Fluff your Marion Cotillard. I bet half the American movie going public couldn’t pick her out in a police line-up. Celebrate your Javier Bardem.

At least you gave a bone to “Juno.”