When I tried out for cheerleader at the end of my sophomore year, it raised more than a few eyebrows. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of my company in “REAL LIFE” you know that I am not the cheerleader type at all. When the voting came around (yes, it’s a big popularity contest with some judges thrown in to make it seem legit) it wasn’t a shocker that I wasn’t one of the chosen ones. I wasn’t really upset by the news that I wasn’t going to get to prance around in a skirt, I was more upset by the fact that I wasn’t “good enough” at something.

Determined to give a big fuck you the the entire student body, I worked on my cheerleading skillz and showed up for the tryouts again in May of my junior year. Once again, there was shock that me, tiffanyfreakingmylastname actually wanted to be a cheerleader. Voting came around once again, and on the day of the announcements, I had convinced myself that I had blown it. There was no way in hell I would ever be one of them. When K.P. read the list of the 2005-2006 Varsity Cheerleaders and my name was on it, I froze. I had done it. Fuck you Caprock, you voted for me and those overly-perky-washed-up-cheerleader judges knew I ruled.

Now it’s one thing for a group of people to collectively believe you can’t do something and then prove them wrong. It’s a hell of a lot easier to do the impossible than sitting in front of someone you’ve given everything to, sacrificed so much for and be told that you aren’t good enough.

I’m not one to give up without a fight.

It’s times like these when you have to break out those jeans. Ladies, you know which jeans I’m talking about. The ones that make your ass look fantastic and your legs look like they go on for days. Gentlemen, you probably don’t notice the jeans as much because you’re busy plotting strategies to get inside of them. But these jeans do the trick everytime. Everytime.

So I guess I’ll let you know what happens.

  1. Hurray for non-standard cheerleaders! Will you be getting an anarchy tattoo on your arm just to rub it in?

  2. What jeans are these ?!?!?! I’ve never understood cheerleading.