2006
07.03

Not In Public

So I was driving down the street the other day, and the flutter of the tips of blonde hair caught my eye from a poorly tied ponytail.

Slightly further inspection revealed a tight fitting shirt, well formed chest/midsection… but as my eyes fell lower, so did my excitement.

This female, for whatever reason had made the unacceptable fashion error to wear…

Sweatpants.

From discussions at the water cooler, apparently those of the female persuasion believe, or at least many do, that such attire is sexy.

One female, whose lipstick explained exactly where she belongs on the social ladder, believed that pajamas are reminiscent of bed, and therefore sex.

I immediately corrected her, and finally had the guts in this moment to tell her that lipstick on teeth isn’t sexy either.

To make one thing perfectly clear: Sweatpants are not sexy. They have sweat in the name! Wearing sweatpants, or pajama pants for that matter, in public do not say, “I like Sex.”

They scream, “I DON’T SHOWER.”

  1. This is what happens when schools don’t get involved. First there’s “Pajama Day,” and now this.

  2. Did it ever occur to you that this particular person you saw wearing them didn’t really care whether or not you or anyone else was impressed by her? I know that whenever I go out in public wearing, say, pajama pants, the last thing on my mind is impressing someone that I don’t even know exists.

  3. becca on July 3, 2006 at 3:45 am said:

    Did it ever occur to you that this particular person you saw wearing them didn’t really care whether or not you or anyone else was impressed by her? I know that whenever I go out in public wearing, say, pajama pants, the last thing on my mind is impressing someone that I don’t even know exists.

    But what is it that makes you think in your mind that wearing nightware is appropriate to wear in public?

  4. Personally.. I hate sweats. And you KNOW they don’t work out in that.

  5. I don’t think nightware is inappropriate when running errands or getting groceries or whatever. It’s not like pajama bottoms or sweat pants are revealing… Sure, one wouldn’t wear them to work or an interview, but that doesn’t make them inappropriate in everyday situations.

    In any case, I doubt that that person had any intention of having her attire approved by a complete stranger. She is not obligated to even care. Clothes don’t make a person… especially clothes they wear around town. That is a helplessly shallow line of thought.

  6. John on July 3, 2006 at 8:50 am said:

    But what is it that makes you think in your mind that wearing nightware is appropriate to wear in public?

    If I was wearing a negligee, THAT would be inappropriate. But I cannot count the times that I’ve run to the drug store wearing my monkey-print pajama pants. I’ll be damned if people think that I’m supposed to dress myself like I do when I go to work if I just need to run to the store for a gallon of milk.

  7. Ladies, you can continue to travel around in your sweatpants and pajama bottoms and I will continue to put the trash out in my sweat stained boxer and wife beater combo. To be clear, I will also continue my tradition of taking the time at the curb to engage in a lengthy scratching of my privates.

    I think I am effectively balancing out gender inequity in this way.

  8. thank god for you, Joey Michaels. Thank. God.

  9. I read this earlier and I thought blah. Then I left the house and had to take a detour on my way home through, the white trash part of town.

    A lady was bending over into her mini van wearing some type of sweat pants although it wasn’t the thick ones, it was more like yoga type pants. I hadn’t until that moment realized how cottage cheese thighs look in sweats.

    I have to say I 100% agree with the post and think that it’s a service to humanity to get this word out. What are you thinking ladies?

  10. if you are going to leave you house for gosh sakes dress decent.

  11. I have sweat outfits (pants & hoodies) that I wear out whenever I get the chance & weather permitting. I have even ran “close to home” errands in my pajamma pants or been to the doctor’s/ER in them.I do at least make sure that they are clean and without any stains. I don’t really care what others think of me since I’m married & not out in public to latch a man. Until some moron makes it illegal, I will continue to do so.

  12. One more thing…

    If men can run around topless, then I shall be able to run around in my pajama pants since *I* can’t run around topless.

  13. becca on July 4, 2006 at 1:36 am said:

    One more thing…

    If men can run around topless, then I shall be able to run around in my pajama pants since *I* can’t run around topless.

    Why? Nobody’s stopping you.

  14. its legal to go around topless. but the question is, would people want to see your flapjacks?

  15. Sweatpants are hideous. That’s a given. Women should be allowed to run around topless – also a given.

    The question is, does anybody else have a strong distaste for capri pants as well? I hate those just as much as sweats.

  16. capri’s are nice if they have the legs for them.
    Girls with cankles should be banned from capris

  17. TGO on July 4, 2006 at 2:43 am said:

    its legal to go around topless. but the question is, would people want to see your flapjacks?

    I don’t know where you live, but where I live, it’s illegal (even during Mardi Gras). Would people want to see my flapjacks? Most definitley.

    Capris are okay – I personally don’t like them. But leggings – hideous. But no one says anything about those.

  18. … and I can’t spell definitely.

  19. well atleast you are confident in your flapjacks. that’s good. lets hope they are d’s or higher because any lower is a waste

  20. TGO on July 4, 2006 at 9:56 pm said:

    well atleast you are confident in your flapjacks. that’s good. lets hope they are d’s or higher because any lower is a waste

    DD, thanks.

  21. becca on July 5, 2006 at 2:25 am said:

    DD, thanks.

    Don’t forget to tell him you’re planning on changing that.

  22. John on July 5, 2006 at 2:28 am said:

    Don’t forget to tell him you’re planning on changing that.

    Well, I was going to, but I didn’t want to just let it all out…

    DD, but they’re about to shrink. How’s that?

  23. becca on July 5, 2006 at 2:25 am said:

    DD, thanks.

    well then you get a big ol thumbs up

  24. becca on July 5, 2006 at 3:16 am said:

    Well, I was going to, but I didn’t want to just let it all out…

    DD, but they’re about to shrink. How’s that?

    hopefully just to a d anymore than that is sacrelige

  25. I think theres one point we’ve overlooked. What did she SMELL like? Working retail I can tell you that a good number of the people who “go out just to run errands” and dont care what they look like are not fit for public consumption by more than just visual standards.

    Whether I’m impressed or not, I have done nothing wrong to you, you should NOT subject my nose or my eyes to any sort of punishment.

  26. remember becca anything less than D is a waste =)

  27. i rock my blue plaid pj bottoms, sweat shirt and slippers in the winter to anything close by and if you dont like it- dont look. im not out to impress anyone while i fold laundry or buy my morning coffee or green tea- to top it all off- i dont do my hair or make up until i get to work and if you dont like it- dont look… but i shower at an incredible frequency- so i wont assault your nose…