2007
02.15

I know that isn’t a very P.C. thing to say – if you’re saying it as an insult. I am saying it as a simple statement of fact. White Cat is mentally deficient in some significant way.

Yes, this is an entry about my cat.

Yesterday, as I was sitting at my computer cursing the fact that the connection has become hella slow recently, White Cat decided she would like to join me on the edge of the chair back. The issue, of course, is that she is not agile enough to balance on the chair back. She knows this.

Or she should. Every other time she’s attempted the same thing, disaster has struck her.

This time was no different, though this time, since I chose not to wear a shirt, disaster struck me as well and I found myself with some long claw marks down the middle of my back. I was hoping they would at least look like the red nails of a hooker, but they only look like cat scratches.

She freaked out and spun in a circle, like she always does when she freaks out. Other cats may hide, she goes to the middle of the floor and runs in a circle. Spin, kitty, spin.

Last year, I was working on a chair placed in front of a bookshelf and she rolled off the bookshelf on to my head. As in she was asleep, and she rolled over, and she landed on my head. Then she spun herself around frantically.

Her latest thing is to try and sit on my head when I am sleeping on my side. Nothing like waking up to feel a cat asshole pressed directly against your cheek. When I sit up, making unkind references to her parentage, she leaps on the floor and spins.

The fiance thinks we should throw her out of the house so that she can “find her family.” I am attached to her and feel that, in light of her inability to do much more than spin, she wouldn’t fend especially well the wild.

Yeah, that is pretty much it. Thank goodness for deadlines.

  1. [quote post=”970″]The fiance thinks we should throw her out of the house so that she can “find her family.”[/quote]

    What would she do if you felt the same about her dopey cousin? We all have one, so I’m sure she’s no exception.

  2. I’ve never seen a cat spin when it got freaked out. Your cat would provide me with a lot of entertainment. Can I borrow her for a day?

  3. I had a white dwarf hamster years ago. It was crazy, it used to run into the plastic base of the cage, do a back flip then run into the cage again. It would do this hours at a time, I’m surprised the thing survived for as long as it did. It was one psycho hamster.

  4. Do a “Trump” comb-over with the hair on your back. That should help hide the scratches =)

  5. Ahahaha, waking up to cat asshole on your cheek. My cat (male) likes to jump up on my bed (in the morning, I presume)… and while I’m sleeping, he sneaks up and sits right on top of my chest. On most occasions, that wakes me up, but one time… I must have been really tired or drunk… When I woke up, there was this big fat cat right on top of my chest, purring. I think I screamed, “What the…!”

  6. My cat, presumably out of attention starvation, must lay in front of me no matter which side I’m laying on. When I roll over, he jumps over me and lays down. I’ve always assumed this was an attention ploy, but he could also be trying to avoid my general ass area. They always say cats are really smart…

    He also has a propensity to leap onto my lap when I’m in the recliner watching TV, and he seems to land directly on my balls virtually every time. Sometimes it takes a great deal of restraint to not launch him off the balcony after the divebomb to the balls.

  7. so that’s why she’s called spinkitty!