2006
08.26

There’s been a lot of drama lately because of what some “scientists” have said about me lately. I’m too small. I’m not big enough. I don’t look like the other planets.

What the fuck is that about?

They want to call me a “new breed.” A “prototype.” Do you know what a prototype is? It’s the rough draft, the original, and the one they end up throwing out when they get what they really want. Is that what these scientists plan on doing with me?

I mean really, what is a planet, anyway?

I have a moon, just like Earth. Hell, I have three moons. I go around the sun, just like everyone else. Okay, I’ll admit, I wobble a little here and there, but can you blame me? That slut Neptune keeps taking my spot. I’m really supposed to be the eighth planet, but she keeps shoving me around like I’m a piece of crap.

This is all a conspiracy between that whore and Uranus. They’re jealous of me that a popular cartoon was given my namesake and not theirs. Uranus gets picked on all the time in movies and other crap, and I guess they’re good friends.

Why can’t everyone else be like Venus? She’s got love and compassion, and she really doesn’t give me a hassle. Mars is a little… cold… but I guess he’s okay.

They are sending a spaceship to come see me, but now with this news, are they still going to come? What about merchandising? Think of all the shirts out there now that are useless!

Want to hear what they want to call me? A dwarf planet. A FUCKING DWARF! Do you understand the harassment I’m going to get now? It’s bad enough I get called a drunk, now I’m going to be a drunken dwarf planet.

This is going to suck, and it’s all your scientists’ faults. They are a bunch of inconsiderate boobs who have nothing better to do than to jerk me around left and right.

First I’m a moon, then I’m a planet, then they don’t know WHAT to call me, and then I’m a planet again, and now this. Just fucking great.

Kitty Michaels is right about you humans, you have NO COMPASSION!

  1. Poor Pluto.

  2. I still love you, Pluto. You were always my favorite.

  3. You, my dear, are a captured object rotating around the sun, just like the planets. However, you intersect other orbits, unlike the planets. And you are tiny in comparison. So, I guess you’re not a planet. Tough luck, kid.

  4. F’in a. like we give 2 shits what a whole cult of scientists say. who died and left them boss? or more importantly who pissed in their corn flakes.

    Pluto is a planet, it always has been and always will be. I suggest we all just dismiss what those idiot scientists say. it just shows that this breed of scientist doesn’t know their asses from their elbows.

    lets all band together and reject these scientists. stick up for ol’ pluto

  5. You should write a book, Joey. I mean, Pluto :/

    less than three you a lot.

  6. I’m sure other scientists will come along eventually to give you a reprieve.

  7. Just give it a couple of years… they’ll call it a planet again.