2007
05.24

Monty Got a Raw Deal

Apparently, there are a whole lot of diets out there that are, in my opinion, borderline bizarre.

At the moment, the one that seems most bizarre to me is one that is referred to as “Raw Foodist.” As you might imagine, this means eating nothing but food which is raw.

The theory behind raw foodism is that ancient humans ate everything raw. Of course, ancient humans also pissed on themselves and practiced cannibalism, but that is another issue altogether.

Anyhow, they will eat anything raw. This means raw meat, raw vegetables, unprocessed milk, etc. If it had to be cooked, they won’t eat it.

Never mind that thousands of years of agriculture have altered all the things the ancient people used to eat. Trying to explain that to a raw foodist is like trying to explain to a Christian that the bibles was organized by a group of men and that these men chose what to include and what to exclude from the bible. In other words, they don’t want to hear it.

I am not saying that raw foodists are crazy. I’m saying that… Never mind. Yes I am saying they are all crazy.

Not to say that there isn’t some logic to the idea that we lived on a certain raw diet for thousands of years, but we also died an awful lot because we ate stuff that had gone bad or had diseases. Improvements in sanitation and germ eradication have greatly extended our lives. Back in the day, you might have eaten all raw food, but you were popping out babies by 11 and consider an elder by 25.

I’m just saying.

  1. But think of all the money you’d be saving. For starters, you wouldn’t have to pay for refrigeration, since your food is about to spoil any minute now. When you go to a barbeque, there’s no concerns because you don’t need to go to BJ’s and get a tank of propane.

    Since you’re dying by 25, there’s no need to save money for college. I mean, most college students are graduating by their early to mid 20s, which to a RFist would be their entire life would be wasted on college… I think not!

    Most importantly, since their population would be dropping off quickly, that would mean there would be more food for the rest of us… and that’s an idea I’m warming up to!

  2. i watched a wife swap with people who ate raw food. it was f*cking disgusting.

  3. Somebody swapped their wife for raw vegetables? I would like to know where one could make this deal. I have vegetables.

  4. [quote post=”1151″]…thousands of years of agriculture have altered all the things the ancient people used to eat.[/quote]

    Ergo Heirloom Vegetables