2007
01.16

ea•ger
Marked by enthusiastic or impatient desire or interest
– ea•ger•ly adverb
– ea•ger•ness noun

I’ve been waiting for quite some time for a bunch of things. A year and a half ago I wrote a :01 minute goal. I wrote that I wanted to still be with Christian, we would have our own apartment and a dog and that I would have my driver’s license. Now, I’m not a loser for not having my license- I live in the city and I have never needed it. Really not much to ask for considering I am a pretty simple person when it comes to the things I want in life.

My apartment would have been ideal had it not been for my roommate, who I haven’t wanted to write about because I wouldn’t want her to read any of this- it would just cause more drama. We used to be really good friends and then when I started dating Christian; she got, I guess, jealous. We actually liked each other. And once we all lived together insanity and inconsistencies began. Its like, if you going to hate me, take and hide my things – then make them reappear a year later, slam doors and be purposely obnoxious- that’s fine. But don’t turn around and love me the next. I’ve tried to iron out things- but nothing really changes for that long.

And I can’t just move. My landlord has been good to us- let us keep the dog and everything. We don’t have the money at this very moment but by tax time we will… and I don’t want to leave my at-one-point-in-time-friend with nowhere to go. It’s just not the right thing to do.

So where does that leave me? I hate to come to work because there’s constantly drama here. I can’t take refuge at home because there’s always drama there too. I can deal with either one just fine. But both? I come home and I’ve worked 11 1/2 hours, commuted for almost three and I can’t even watch my own TV with out having the channel changed for me while I’m watching something or a door slammed or some forced conversation that I want no part of. No one else really scrubs down the house – and it’s the same thing when I come to work- no one prepares the orders or cleans the windows or, Jesus, maybe…I dunno, tries? Ha.

But the good part is that if I’ve made it this long- till June should be a cakewalk. It would be like running 75% or a marathon and just stopping -lighting a cigarette and walking away. I just hope that my crankiness doesn’t make everyone hate me between now and then….

  1. The part that sucks about your sitch is that you can’t get a chance to just chill. But you shouldn’t worry about your friend’s place to live once your lease runs out.

  2. John on January 16, 2007 at 6:46 am said:
    But you shouldn’t worry about your friend’s place to live once your lease runs out.

    I agree.
    You have to do what makes YOU happy in life, not her.

    I find it so weird that people can actually do without a license, but I’m from an area that it’s almost mandatory.. so yeah.

  3. I have two kids and no lisence…

    I hope you don’t lose your sanity before you get a chance to move.

  4. Ah, that’s one thing I’ve always loved about living in the city, the lack of need for a car. GO PUBLIC TRANSIT! AND WALKING! WOOOO!

  5. I hate taking public transit, and I hate driving. I should be able to fly or something. Like a witch! You should do the things that make you happy, and not worry so much about others. It’s a good thing to do, but you always com first.