01.29
In less than a week, the question everyone’s been wondering will be answered.
How did Heath Ledger die?
What, did you think this was going to be another Super Bowl post?
There are other questions that are being asked, like who that masseuse was that was supposed to go give him a rubdown. Supposedly, the woman is an anomaly. Nobody in the massage therapy business knows anything about her, she’s not licensed in the State to be a masseuse. Maybe I was right when I was first talking with people about it.
Maybe she’s a hooker.
She called Mary Kate Olsen, but nobody knows – or seemingly cares – why. So here, at TDE, we present to you our re-enactment of those three conversations.
Diana Wolozin (a/k/a “Masseuse”): Hey girlie, what’s up?
Mary Kate Olsen (a/k/a “The fat Olsen twin”): Not much, you?
Masseuse: Oh nothing, just here looking to give Heath a rubdown, but I think he’s dead.
The fat Olsen twin: Dead?
Masseuse: Yeah.
The fat Olsen twin: Weird.
Masseuse: Yeah, I know! Listen, let me call you back, k?
The fat Olsen twin: K!
Masseuse: K so he’s really dead.
The fat Olsen twin: Wait, you weren’t kidding?
Masseuse: No way hon.
The fat Olsen twin: Gee, that sucks. So does that mean you have a free appointment today?
Masseuse: I’ll have to call you back.
Masseuse: Yeah, I don’t know if I should come over today.
The fat Olsen twin: Why not?
Masseuse: I think I might call the cops.
The fat Olsen twin: Oh, yeah, that might be a good idea.
Masseuse: Yeah. We’re still on for Friday night, right?
The fat Olsen twin: Oh yeah! Def!
I liked the guy, but for goodness sake, people are making such a big deal over it. People die every day and these sorts of investigations aren’t made. And it’s not the drama of the death, because so many of these celebrities’ deaths are so drama free compared to your average Joe’s death. I know I’m rambling, but I just can’t stand how much attention celebrities get and how stupid people all are for giving it their attention.
I almost feel bad for laughing at this…almost. But Caitlin’s right! People die every day. This person just happened to be a celebrity, so everyone’s gotta be all over this story. It’s lame, really.
[quote comment="20420"]I almost feel bad for laughing at this…almost. But Caitlin’s right! People die every day. This person just happened to be a celebrity, so everyone’s gotta be all over this story. It’s lame, really.[/quote]
I completely agree. People die every single day, but when its a celebrity, there’s no way you’re not going to be hearing about it over and over again for at least two weeks.
Its over people, move on. I’m sure the next Hollywood Joe Schmo is about to die any minute now. And then you can all forget about Heath and go batshit crazy over this next person.