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In less than a week, the question everyone’s been wondering will be answered.
How did Heath Ledger die?
What, did you think this was going to be another Super Bowl post?
There are other questions that are being asked, like who that masseuse was that was supposed to go give him a rubdown. Supposedly, the woman is an anomaly. Nobody in the massage therapy business knows anything about her, she’s not licensed in the State to be a masseuse. Maybe I was right when I was first talking with people about it.
Maybe she’s a hooker.
She called Mary Kate Olsen, but nobody knows - or seemingly cares - why. So here, at TDE, we present to you our re-enactment of those three conversations.
Diana Wolozin (a/k/a “Masseuse”): Hey girlie, what’s up?
Mary Kate Olsen (a/k/a “The fat Olsen twin”): Not much, you?
Masseuse: Oh nothing, just here looking to give Heath a rubdown, but I think he’s dead.
The fat Olsen twin: Dead?
Masseuse: Yeah.
The fat Olsen twin: Weird.
Masseuse: Yeah, I know! Listen, let me call you back, k?
The fat Olsen twin: K!
Masseuse: K so he’s really dead.
The fat Olsen twin: Wait, you weren’t kidding?
Masseuse: No way hon.
The fat Olsen twin: Gee, that sucks. So does that mean you have a free appointment today?
Masseuse: I’ll have to call you back.
Masseuse: Yeah, I don’t know if I should come over today.
The fat Olsen twin: Why not?
Masseuse: I think I might call the cops.
The fat Olsen twin: Oh, yeah, that might be a good idea.
Masseuse: Yeah. We’re still on for Friday night, right?
The fat Olsen twin: Oh yeah! Def!
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