2005
07.22

This weeks funniest situation is brought to you by Stephanie – always the dumbass.

Driving home tonight, I pulled up to my house to find a dog walking in front of my car. No biggie right? I flash my brights… and it keeps walking in circles. I honk my horn, it does nothing but walk in circles. and this is a big dog. I pull into my parking space and it comes right up to my door… walking in circles. Then to the drivers side left back wheel, and then to the drivers side front wheel again. The dog had no collar and looked like it hadn’t eaten in weeks! This dog looks sick… if he’s not crazy rabid now… who knows what minute he’ll break!!!

So, I pick up my trusty cell phone and call my father. I beg and plead for him to come chase the dog away so I can come inside. I tell him we have to have a BBGun somewhere in the house and he should use it. He laughs and tells me to wait until it goes away.

7 minutes later… this dog is still walking around in circles by my car. So, I call #77, the State Police and ask for animal controls number. They give it to me, only Animal Control is closed, so I have to call the non-emergency police line.

My conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi! There’s this sick looking dog walking around outside my car and I’m kinda trapped inside.
Dispatcher: How big is the dog? What kind of dog?

I go on to explain the dog the best I can in the dark, and what he’s doing.

Dispatcher: What does the dog look like?
Me: Well, from where I’m sitting he kinda looks like Cujo.

The dispatched laughed and told me not to move from my car and he was sending someone to help. If the dog got far enough away I was to make a run for it. Which I did. I went inside, and called the dispatcher back.

Me: Hi! I just called, I’m the girl who was trapped in her car.
Dispatcher: Oh, did you make a break for safety?
Me: Yeah, but that dog is out there causing mass havoc in my intersection.

It was true, the dog was out there and four cars were honking, flashing their brights and everything and that damn dog was still walking in circles. The dispatcher was kind, and he send some officers out and I spoke with one briefly. I mentioned he probably thought I was a lunatic and he just smiled and said thank ya ma’am. Last I looked they were following the dog down the street as it still walked in circles. So far the dog hasn’t attacked anyone, which makes me feel extremely silly for freaking out the way I did.

Honestly, big kudos go out to the Fairfax County Police Department for not making me feel like a total ass tonight. The rest of you, get a big laugh at my expense.

Cheers!

  1. You should have spiced this up, you know escaped from the sun roof with Cujo foaming at the mouth and a guy in a big trenchcoat standing in the garden. Oh and move it to Castle Rock.