2007
12.19

Grawr

It’s always interesting when random conclusions seem to pop up out of nowhere. Or semi-nowhere. My most recent, though, is this: If it wasn’t for my being so damned empathetic I’d probably be sitting in jail. To put it mildly.

Empathy has been something I’ve sort of viewed as a curse for a while – things people feel (emotional as well as physical) hitting me so hard… like if I see someone break a leg I have major pain in my leg – a lot of times it’s like I almost feel these things myself as if they’re happening to me (good imagination probably).

On the flip-side I also have very major anger issues, often followed by violent thoughts that I’ve (thankfully) never acted on, or else I’d most likely be living in an institution for the criminally insane right now. My mind works too much sometimes (even though some would say that it doesn’t work at all) so directly following whatever violent actions my mind’s dreamed um I’m imagining those actions done to me – and that stops me.

So really I’m not trying to plead the case of murderers or anything because putting forth that extra thought – whether it be “no this is wrong” or “no that would hurt” or whatever the fuck it would be to keep someone from doing something horrific to someone isn’t all that hard… but on the flip-side isn’t it, at least for some, sort of like an instinct?

One of those things that you start to act on before realizing what you’re doing. I guess that’s why they have different categories of crimes – crimes of passion, rage, and so on.

  1. lol it’s nice that you think about what it’d be like if it happened to you before acting on others. Probably saves a lot of heartache.

  2. I totally agree with you.