I told Lyndsie, who was sitting in for Whitters last week and this week, that after last week’s Radio X show, I had a breakdown. I thought the show was total crap, but nobody else seems to agree.

There wasn’t anything spectacular about it, but I’ve always been one where just one tiny thing can throw the whole project out the window. I have done spectacular shows in the past that were ruined (in my mind) because the last record skipped, or because I missed the post by a tenth of a second, or something so completely insignificant to anyone else but me.

In last week’s case, it was Lyndsie’s turning on and off the microphone, throwing her response time off, that was throwing ME off. I wasn’t sure if I lost her feed, of she was there, or anything. I can understand refreshing Skype to clear a buffer issue, but hearing nothing and not knowing what was wrong made things so confusing for me.

Those that know me know that I hear everything. And I mean everything. It’s a problem for me, because I can be on the phone with you and I can hear a conversation that’s going on in the other room (in my house) and what’s on TV (in yours). And for me, it’s all the same volume – loud. Maybe I have a form of audio ADD? The point is, every time background changes, it throws me off my focus.

The hardest part about making a talk radio show sound casual is the focus. The magic to sounding like nothing is planned is knowing what’s coming up. Ironic, no?

Even the best ad-lib radio show hosts have an idea of what’s coming up, what the next topic is, SOMETHING. You don’t honestly think that Rush Limbaugh sits down behind a microphone and spews what comes off from the top of his head, do you? EVERYTHING is planned, and in may cases, scripted.

Kathy Griffin is one of my favorite comedians, mostly because she doesn’t write anything. Everything on stage is off the cuff. But even SHE has bullet points, something to guide her when she’s on stage.

I have a crib sheet. I know when the segments are and what’s next. I have my stories, my audio clips, and an idea of where to go with the show. There are the regular segments. Callers sometime get through and talk about what’s on their mind.

But I have something to keep me focused. Last week, my struggle was tested by what I felt were audio issues, because they were causing a distraction.

This week, she asked how the show went. She didn’t fuck with mic settings, she was there for reaction, and I was there for hers, and it was a lot of fun. I told her it was a completely different show than last week, that I was happy it came out the way it did, and that I felt good in the end.

And it did.