I’m talking with a friend of mine and we’re just having a blast. I don’t remember how exactly it came about, but she was like, “Guess what I have that you probably don’t.”

I looked her up and down and threw out the obvious answers. The night before I had watched a “Friends” re-run, it was the one where Chandler had admitted he had a third nipple, so I jokingly said, “A third nipple.”

I didn’t laugh, because her face was in shock.

“How did you know?”

I’m really hoping one day I can tell that story and have it be true. Well, I do know someone with a third nipple, but that’s besides the point. I just want to be able to tell a cool story like that, where something happened that way.

In the real story, a friend of mine told me about her third nipple because she was trying to get over some kind of emo-bullshit “embarrassment” phase she was going through. She’s a good kid, married, couple of kids that are probably adorable as all sin, and a good home.

I had never seen one before, so when she showed me I was a bit shocked, but it was still cool nonetheless.

I wondered if she could lactate with that third nipple, or if there was any kind of sensation. If that’s the kind of thing that people would today be in awe over, like in a circus or something, or whether anyone would care.

I would like to think whatever it was she had cosmetically, I’d be cool with. I don’t know, though. I’d probably want to know as much about it as I can, and not just Wikipedia knowledge, either.

What would you say if you happened to be going out on a date with someone and you discovered he or she had an extra nipple? Would that excite you? Scare you? Or would you just shrug it off like it’s nothing?