I recently conducted a search for the next John Ale. It was a tough decision, but after reviewing all the candidates, I’ve finally decided on who the next John Ale will be.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the new John Ale.

His name is John, and he hails from New York. He is allergic to cats, loves long drives, and doesn’t have the heart to pass up a free meal.

He sees the twisted humor in average pictures. He likes watching television late at night. His friends are good to him, and he is good to his friends.

Some of the things he likes doing:

John likes watching all sorts of reality television, and one of his favorite TV shows is the FOX drama “24.”

Funny. This guy sounds just like me.

Dear John,

You’re hired.

John