11.10
I miss my son. Lately I have been having problems meeting the commitments set by my ex, but I have been making as much efforts as I have been able to. She refuses to see that I am not working as many hours as I was, nor am I making as much as I was, in the last job.
Instead of trying to discuss with me on how we can make the best of what we are both going through, she tries to attack me. I would be willing to do whatever it is she needs for me to be there for him, but when I need to discuss something I need for her to help me out with, she isn’t even willing to meet me halfway.
The part that hurts me most is that she thinks I’m trying to skip out on him. As if I am consciously deciding that I am going to screw my son over so I can live a better life. What better life? I’m not going to concerts, I’m not going to movies, I’m not going out to dinner, and I’m not driving along endlessly. I’m not buying food, I’m not… anything. I barely have enough money for gas to get me through the week and to set aside some money for my car insurance and phone. As if I don’t already feel bad enough that I don’t see him every weekend, her accusations tear me apart.
In fact, the job I have I only have because I needed SOMETHING since I quit my job in July. I needed to find a way to be able to have enough money so I can find another job, to try and be supportive financially, to try and see my son. It is not working through, but she is not satisfied with that.
To add to my problems, my car has once again been struggling. I finally took it off the road after work a few weeks ago because it kept stalling out on me. My friend’s step-father looked at it, thinks it might be the timing belt. Someone else says, based on what has been happening, that it might be my transmission. Either way, it’s money I don’t have, and I’ve been borrowing someone else’s car so I can get to work and so I can see my son.
The stress is killing me. In addition to the job and the car situation, I’ve had a sinus infection for over a week. I haven’t been able to sleep, and when I do get to sleep, I toss and turn for an hour before lying in bed awake. One night I’m in bed at 3am, the next I’m out cold by 10pm. I’m not eating on a regular schedule, if I’m eating at all.
I don’t like writing about things like this because I don’t want people that come here to think she is a horrible person, she isn’t. She is a great mom and even now I would do anything I can for her. The problem is that because I am unable to do so she things I am unwilling.
I don’t know what else to do.
Aww sounds like you are in a shitty situation right now with everything that is going on =( Maybe if your ex could see you halfway like you say it would be a big help. Hope she see that is a good solution eventually to help you out.
Thats not fair that she is doing that to you. Not only is she hurting you, but she’s hurting your son. If she can’t meet you half way with working around the situation, then she has problems.
I hope you start feeling better, and I hope you can get something worked out to see your son.
Sometimes in situations like these the best thing to do is rather than feel frustration towards the other person (your ex in this case) is to try and see things from their side. Have they got their own stresses and problems? Of course, we all do. Maybe she’s going through a tough patch and a side effect is that she may not be as flexible or understanding as you would hope her to be.
I don’t know. But it may be worth trying to look at the situation calmly and openly to see what’s going on that’s stressing you both out. ;-)
It sounds like she’s just being stubborn about the situation. Even if she’s a great mom, that doesn’t mean she’s an all-around great person. It sounds like she’s either trying to work you or she just doesn’t care about your situation. But who am I to pass judgment on someone I don’t even know? Maybe you guys can find a common ground, or maybe even find a counselor who can mediate for you, if that’s what it has to come down to.
I’d tell you life is always darkest before the dawn, but truthfully that won’t help you feel better, so all I can say is keep working hard, do your best, and even if your ex is not content be proud to know you are making the effort because in the end its your opinion that matters.
Honestly, I’ve read this post a few times wanting to offer some words of encouragement, but not sure what to say. If I know you as well as I think I do, you created this post more as a venting tool rather than a cry out for sympathy. Or, at least that’s my nature when discussing personal hardship. Regardless, I wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you and I hope things look up for you soon. Often times life isn’t easy, especially when it seems like your going through it all alone (so to speak), and everything bad and negative seems to hit you all at once. Or, snowball and squash you like a bug on a windshield.
(((big hugzz, best of luck, and as hard as it is to do sometimes, try to convince yourself that things could always be worse)))
oxoxox,
Mary <—-great at offering advice, horrible at accepting it….
It sounds as though everything is on her terms. Have you seen professionals, who can act as some form of go between, so that you can still see your child even though you are having financial troubles.
Man, that sounds like a terrible situation. I always tell myself those words of the Roman poet Ovid, who said, “Endure and persist, this pain will not last.” It’s translated from Latin, so I am sure it is written other ways in other places. Still, it helps me stay strong.