There is nothing I hate more than rubbernecking.

I just want to get to wherever it is I want to get to, and I do understand and respect the idea that if there is an accident or something, we should slow down and not add to it. But do we need to come to a screeching halt if the accident is on the other side of the highway? I don’t think so.

I’ve always been one to pull over and help someone out if they needed some kind of assistance, provided I have the luxury of time on my side. I know if something happens to me it would be nice if someone helped me out, so I try to do what I can when I see trouble on the shoulder.

But there’s a difference between that and slowing down simply to gawk and hope for carnage, dismembered body parts, or maybe a trooper yanking someone and throwing cuffs on, slamming them on the ground, or pulling a gun out and screaming like Hell.

I remember one summer, I was working on my car (translation: staring at the engine and hoping it would get better with mind control), and all of a sudden I heard this big, loud bang. I turned around and saw nothing but people running from the other side of the main road, heading towards the corner.

Like the lemming I am, I decided it was a better plan than to play tinker toy with my ride, so I put the wrench down and joined the flock. When I got to the corner, I saw this van, head first the wrong side of the road, and this HUGE line in the street. I looked closer, and noticed the line was a groove, created when the van spun out.

The driver stumbled out of his van, not really looking like he was all there. His tire blew out and he almost hit

• another car
• a kid and his mom waiting for the bus
• one of the dirty neighbor kids who probably eat dirt

I noticed he kept looking around, as if he was hoping either nobody saw him or that he could make a break for it. He started to shake his head when the police arrived, and within minutes he was being escorted to the back of the cruiser with a new set of wrist jewelry. A truck towed his van away, but that groove remained.

So did the people at the side of the road, trying to speculate what happened. I walked away.

I had a car to pretend to fix.