02.14
Once again, I’m getting new glasses. And much like the last few times since 1999, I’m getting them for free. I’m sorry. I can’t help it.
I love being me.
My friends
I have some wonderful people in my life who have supported my insanity over the past few years. People I’ve worked with. Friends I’ve made through the internet. Relationships I’ve re-forged from unoriginal places such as “high school=” and “the neighborhood.”
These people have been there for me through all my bad jokes. Through late night phone calls. Fights over ridiculous things. My online antics. Some if my hilarious triumphs. My most embarrassing failures.
Without them… I don’t know. I suppose without my friends, I would be a different person. These pieces of my life help identify who I am, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
Thanks to them, I love being me. I have the greatest friends in the world.
My mother
Back in the non-existent archives, you would have been able to find over 800 pieces I wrote, with maybe one or two focused on a woman I felt to be a vehicle of hate and anger.
I won’t lie. I despised her, and I one-time wished that my life would be able to exist without acknowledging her existence or my relation to her. When my father died in 1984, she made me feel as if I was not a son, but a burden left upon her by a man who drank his liver to oblivion.
Recently, her and I have been trying to work things out. I won’t tell you that things now with my mother exactly flourishing with love and joy, but we’re trying. I think that’s the most important thing, especially since that I’m an old man and it’s helping put the past two decades into perspective. I can’t take back my venomous hate for her, nor would I want to. Instead of regretting how I felt, it’s better – I think – to learn from it. Why did I hate her? What did I see? How can I make sure I don’t feel that way again? You can’t learn from your experiences if all you do is try to deny, hide, or regret them.
Our relationship is rocky, but we’re both trying. Thanks to Marlene, I love being me. I have the greatest mom in the world.
My Family
A couple of years ago, I was a radio engineer with a hobby of blogging nonsense on a daily basis, hosting a bi-yearly online web contest, and hosting a weekly radio show. That was “family” to me; the world I was involved in and the people in it. For most of my life, I considered my friends to be my family (and for a few select, I still do).
But that was before I met someone who I found to be a marvel of all proportions. A genius ahead of her time, beautiful not only by her physical attributes but by her soul. Her personality was beyond charming. Her identity was strong. This woman knew then who she was more than anyone I have ever known, and she helped me see myself in a light I never cared to look with. Her passion opened my heart, giving me life I didn’t think I was capable of. I never saw myself with anyone; she showed me that my life was empty when I was alone.
To top things off, this woman gave me even more life by giving me a future; my son. A particularly ugly lad (yes, he looks just like me), who is unlike me in many ways:
I don’t know where I would be without her, but without her I wouldn’t have him. And it’s because of them that I love being me. I have the most wonderful family in the world.
You
Since 1996, I’ve done something online. A monthly photo update of what’s going on in my world. A comic look at the news. A shameless self-promotion of my “radio” persona. A transformation into a weekly, then daily, “blog” with sometimes-humorous anecdotes, ridiculous photos, and diatribes and whatever, whenever.
One of the focuses early on was the product. That’s generally the best way to sell yourself – by being yourself. But about five years ago, I started to change my focus from my website to your website. Encouraging and welcoming comments from people (provided they weren’t rude or vulgar in some cases) had always been the key. Still is. Always will be. Because of that, this website continues to go on – despite several “shut downs” and “technical problems” I’ve had since first buying JohnAle.com in 2000.
Losing this site is easy for me to accept. It’s a lot of work to try and provide entertainment for readers to come and read. It’s harder to find ways to provoke readers to provide their own commentary to it. But it’s worth it. And that’s what I would make it hard for me – losing the connection readers have with the work of the site.
You make it worth keeping the site alive. You make it worth keeping ideas alive, like elimination or this potential “radio station.” You make it worth my time to try and evolve – to get more personal, or to actually to do more “writing.”
There are times where I feel that perhaps I try too hard, or do things for the sake of continuity. For some of that, I apologize. I asked Joey Michaels to a part of the site to help change the old “same ol’ same ol’” rhetoric. Not for me, but for you.
Without you, I wouldn’t have the inspiration or drive to keep writing or thinking. My life would be a bland version of what I have now, with no outlet to vent my aggressions or share my joy. Thanks to you, I have a reason to keep this site alive. You are a part of the greatest readers in the world.
All four of you.
Trying to leave a comment here, but it’s not letting me :/
btw, there’s more than four of us :P
I’m seeing more than 7 comments here :P
Back in the neighborhood or High school huh?
Dude.. Email me.. you know the addy
oh !shit, i just got colored contacts for the first time in my life and they feel weird………… i cannot imagine wearing glasses, or having to wear these horrid things all of the time……… yay for your new glasses
I’m not here that often, but you should know by now that I like you to :)
Though I’m fourth to post, I don’t believe I’m the fourth person… however, I do find myself returning to your site every so often. Don’t know why either =)
i’m glad you are you!
are we really only 4?
All four of us are glad you are here, too.