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Erin and I can’t come up with a decent headline for this entry
July 28th, 2006, 1:00 am
By John

“I’m either pregnant or I have food poisoning.”

Talk about a way to say hello, but Erin… she’s an uncouth wench with a foul mouth and an attitude problem. It’s what made me want her to write here, and why I enjoyed her writing on some other site many moons ago.

So, kinda-sorta knowing her as I kinda-sorta do, I decided to assume the worst.

I asked her, “What did you eat?”

Apparently, she had chicken, a salad with feta cheese and Greek dressing. I quickly ruled out the pregnancy theory as she had gone through “the motions” just a week ago, but I’m not a fucking doctor, so what do I know?

She asked, “Is eating chicken cold bad?”

I told her it’s possible, if the food wasn’t prepared right or if it was still contaminated. Fuck, not only am I a doctor, but I’m also a chef!

“It feels just like the time I ate Cajun Cafe when I got back from the Dominican,” she started to groan. “Those fucks poisoned me.”

I didn’t really get a chance to discuss what she was talking about, unfortunately. I’m going to assume she was a victim of food poisoning, or she caught sick off something she ate.

“I think its that time again,” she said before disappearing for the seventh time in the six minute conversation.


Filed under General Nothingness.
[ Comments: 11 ]

11 Responses to “Erin and I can’t come up with a decent headline for this entry”


  1. Jenna
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    1:45 am
    1

    It had to have been food poisoning. She’s too smart to get herself knocked up.

  2. Crys
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    2:04 am
    2

    I’m going to say food poisoning too. Not everone gets morning sickness when they are pregnant (me for example).

  3. John
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    9:48 am
    3

    Jenna on July 28, 2006 at 1:45 am said:

    It had to have been food poisoning. She’s too smart to get herself knocked up.

    So are you saying only stupid people have kids?

  4. Claudia
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    10:12 am
    4

    I don’t agree with Jenna’s comment either - sometimes shit happens, even if you are being careful and using BC - nothing is 100% effective. But anyway. It sounds like food poisoning with the rapid fire exit going on like that. Which sucks because you lose a lot of weight that way :P

  5. Yellow Hobbit
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    11:50 am
    5

    Although dumb people are the majority of the people who have kids, they are not the only ones who procreate.

  6. Mandolin
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    3:02 pm
    6

    I always thought that any kind of morning sickness from pregnancy didn’t happen until a month or so into any gestation… but I don’t know anything about babies, so I would just assume it was food poisoning.

  7. Erin
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    3:46 pm
    7

    Actually…

    If I am pregnant it’s because I’m dumb.

  8. Jenna
    Posted:
    Jul 28th, 2006
    4:16 pm
    8

    I know Erin’s feelings on having a baby. She doesn’t want one. I meant she’s intelligent enough to take precautions against it. It wasn’t a slam on anyone else. I made the comment in the context of the post. Christ, I have a child myself.

    Calm down, put away your pitchforks.

  9. R&C's Dildo
    Posted:
    Jul 29th, 2006
    5:40 am
    9

    Either way, she’s gonna give birth to something =)

  10. John
    Posted:
    Jul 29th, 2006
    5:43 am
    10

    R&C’s Dildo on July 29, 2006 at 5:40 am said:

    Either way, she’s gonna give birth to something =)

    ..or it’ll be the death of her

  11. kathy
    Posted:
    Jul 29th, 2006
    9:33 am
    11

    My bet is with food poisoning
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