I’ve always been a rough sleeper. I haven’t had myself a good night’s sleep in years.

Last week I bought some new pillows, and let me tell you - I was scared.

First, they were HUGE. The bag said “standard” so I figured that meant it would fit my shams. I had to fight with it to get the sham on, though. It really looked like an oversized marshmallow was stuffed into the body of a peanut.

I have two pillows, so now I don’t have the room for both of them. One of the two became a body pillow, and if it had arms and legs it would probably be bigger than my son.

The first night I laid to rest, I woke up the same way I fell asleep. I was energized. I felt like I slept in a way I never thought I could without being sick and taking a cup of Nyquil.

The problem was my neck. It was not stiff, but it had more crack than downtown Washington, DC. It felt nice, don’t get me wrong, but it was definitely awkward for me to be able to snap, crackle, and pop like that.

Maybe it’s the way I actually laid down. Or I twisted and did something in my sleep and didn’t notice. I mean, I was sleeping, right?

The next night was a repeat of the first. I slept even LESS hours than the first night but felt just as energetic and excited to start my day as I did before. And the next day? With a full nine hours of sleep, I woke up ready to take on the world.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do at first. I kept the other pillows, just in case I couldn’t sleep right with these. But now? Now these bad boys are going to end up in my car. Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with a “just in case” bag, and I simply haven’t had one in years.

Not that I do a lot of traveling, but what happens if I’m at work one day and I’m there so late I really don’t have the time to go home to sleep, then come back, and be refreshed to tackle the day? If I have a bag in the car, I’m ready for anything.

I used to have a sleeping bag, but that’s gone. The first thing I’d have to do is replace that. Actually, the first thing I’d have to do is clean out my trunk. There’s so much useless garbage in there and the case I have to keep it in is filthy. The carpet’s flipped so the bottom is up (and the top is below) so I need to change that, too.

While I’m at it, I also should check my spare tire to make sure there’s air in there. I was at the auto store the other day and thought about getting an emergency kit from there. The last thing I need is to have some kind of traffic emergency like a flat tire or a blown engine and it’s 20^oF outside and I have my son. Then what?

Which reminds me: AAA SUCKS. I’m paying their yearly fee which used to include so much, but now all that stuff they USED to do is for the AAA Plus people, which costs MORE money. What a piece of shit.

Thank God I have awesome pillows.