Well, we’re over half way through our exciting (to me) examination of the Ten Commandments. Let’s get right on to the next commandment.

The Sixth Commandment

You shall not kill.

Well, this is pretty straight forward. Let’s take some calls.

Caller #1: Hi Joey. Brad from Wisconsin. Long time reader, first time caller. I simply love your updates at TheDeadEnd.net. I especially loved all the litter box poetry. Wow. Changed my life. No, really.

Joey: Do you have a question, Brad?

Caller #1: Yeah, I got bit by a mosquito. God is cool that I squashed that sucker right?

Joey: Nope. Going to hell. You shall not kill. Next caller.

Caller #2: Joey? Joey Fucking Michaels? Oh my God! Oh my God! I love you so much!

Joey: Yes, yes. Question?

Caller #2: Of course! Of course! I’m sorry. I figure I shouldn’t eat meat because I have to kill an animal to do it. What about vegatables?

Joey: I want to clear this up. It is all right to eat meat, just not to be the one who kills the animal. Same things with vegatables. They are alive. As long as you don’t kill them, everything is cool with the big G. Next caller.

Caller #3: Yeah, look, I just used a chemical peel on my face. Is that ok?

Joey: Sorry. Hell for you! Cells were killed in that action and you shall not kill. Look, how much more clear does God have to make it? He didn’t say “you can kill some things” or “you can kill sometimes,” he said “you shall not kill.” If you are killing anything - including brain cells - you are guilty, guilty, guilty.

Anyhow, I hope that this clears things up. Kill something - anything - go to Hell. That’s the law.