DENN — Pat Robertson, Christian and master linguist, attempted to clarify his remarks about the removal of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, claiming that they were taken out of context and that he never called for the killing of the Latin American leader.

“If you look at what I said, I never said we should ‘assassinate’ him. I said we should ‘take him out’ and that could mean a lot of things.”

“For example, I might have meant that our Special Ops should kidnap him. I might have also meant that a WWE wrestler should have been sent in to give him the triple suplex. Maybe I meant that we should take him out to a nice dinner and movie. I understand that ‘The Wedding Crashers’ is very popular among heathens like him.”

“Frankly, the media is distorting this. They don’t know what I meant. Frankly, I don’t even know what I meant. Showing clips of me saying something doesn’t even prove I really said it. That could have all been done with CGI.”

According to CNN, what Robertson actually said was:

“If he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think we really ought to go ahead and do it,” said Robertson on Monday’s “The 700 Club” program. “It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war.”

“We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability,” he said. “We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”

Robertson points out that just because he said “if he thinks we’re going to assassinate him we should do it” doesn’t mean that “it” means “assassinate him.”

“‘Do it’ is a common expression in the United States of America, in case you didn’t know. Nike uses it as part of their slogan, ‘Just Do It.’ I could have meant many things when I said ‘do it.’ Ever read the bible? It is open to interpretation and I, as a Christian, am allowed to say things that are open to interpretation, too.”

“Maybe I meant that we should ‘do it’ with him in a dirty sense. Politics is a dirty business and sometimes we have to ‘do it’ with dictators, like our friends in Saudi Arabia, just to get things that we want.”

“Frankly, the length to which the liberal media will go to make some innocent remarks about taking Hugo Chavez out to dinner and a movie and then back to our place for some ‘doing it’ sound like something sinsiter are appalling. I think all liberal reporters should be murdered in their sleep.”

To which he was quick to add, “I obviously mean ‘murder’ in the sense of the French ‘le petite mort,’ which means orgasm. They should all be brought to orgasm while they sleep.”

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