Damn, but India rocks, and I don’t just right that because my favorite former cam-girl, Preetika, is of Indian descent. Though she is. And she is a total babe. I mean it.

No, India rocks because of its rich culture and history. Especially because of its two great epic stories, the Ramayana and the Mahabrahta. These were written around the time of Greek tragedy, but while the Greeks were writing stories about people accidentally having sex with their mothers and subsequently poking their eyes out, the Indians were writing much cooler stories.

In the Indian classics, men and women hunted, fought, had wild sex and, yes, even flung poop at their enemies. How cool is that? The stories were so good that nearly every country that is anywhere near India took these same stories and made them their own.

Yeah, the Romans sort of did that with the Greek stories, but then the Dark Ages happened because the stories sucked so bad.

Am I saying that entire societies can rise or fall on the basis of their stories? Damn straight I am.

Well, maybe not exactly rise or fall, but a culture is remembered by its stories. In 2000 years, people will still be telling the stories of the Ramayana and classical Indian culture will be inches away. What great stories have we, 21st century Americans, created? The story of Richard Hatch, the first winner of Survivor?

Unless we make his win into an epic tale of gods, demons and monkeys, his story will ultimately be ground into the pavement of history. So will the story of Clay Aiken, and OJ Simpson and all the other real people we follow so closely in our time. I am sure there were stories of this sort in all eras of history and those have all vanished into time - except for Jack the Ripper, but he wisely stayed anonymous, which makes him sort of fictional in a way.

How has India been rewarded for its great stories? Frankly, they also got many of the naturally hottest looking women in the world and the Kama Sutra.

And the boobs! I’m not joking. Amazing.