At some point in the near future, we will be living by the Ten Commandments. I have spent days - no, days - writing about the new law, which is same as the old law. The Ten Commandments, ladies and gentlemen. Learn ‘em, live ‘em. You may go to hell anyways.

And now…

The Fifth Commandment

Honor your father and your mother.

Pretty straight forward, yes? Or is it…

Truth be told, this is the hardest commandment of all. It doesn’t say “honor your father and mother, unless they are hateful bastards.” No, even if they have killed your cat and called you overweight, you still have to honor them.

Think of the worst thing a human being could do. Now imagine your parents doing it. You still have to honor them.

Don’t have to like them, but damn straight you’d better honor them.

Of course, this begs the question “what does it mean to honor them?”

Well, it means to pay them high respect. Not “high” as in “stoned” but “high” as in “lots of.”

So, even if your father stabbed the eyes out of a nun, this commandment clearly explains that you have to pay high respect for him anyways if for no other reason than he once stuck his willy in your mother. You have to respect that! If not for their night of wet, sloppy sex, you would not be here. That is worthy of respect, even if you hate your life and wish you were never born, you must respect them. God commands it!

Curiously, the fifth amendment to the Constitution has to do with the right to bear arms. I can’t help but think these two things are related somehow.

One way you can respect something is to treat it like a worthy enemy, just FYI.