My friend (and former TDE writer) Miss Michele is having a baby. No, it’s not mine…

But we did discuss when she was due, and during last week’s show decided to put down bets as to when she will actually pop out her blessed bambina.

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There are a few things I could see myself conceivably stabbing someone else over. I would stab you if you were to mess with my son, for example.

But for steak? I don’t know…

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It’s been three years on June 26th that me and Christian have been together. Officially and monogamously.

YAY!

So while we were bathing in our severe lack of funds on our anniversary in the morning i said: “you wanna get married on our five year anniversary?”

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No, I’m not talking about some cheesy horror flick that’s only on at 3:00 in the morning… I’m talking about real life. I’m talking about how I’ll never be able to enter a bathroom and be at ease again. Because ladies and gentlemen, bathrooms apparently hate me. And over the two weeks, they’ve been making their dislike for me known to the world.

The incident… It was a completely harmless act on my part. I needed to blow my nose, so I did. The upstairs trashcans were downstairs since it was garbage day, so there was nowhere to throw my used tissue. So naturally rather than letting it sit around, I tossed it in the toilet and flushed. That was apparently my first mistake.

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So its summer and its the time of year that I change from paste to brown almost overnight. It’s the time of year I wait for desperately from the second it ends. Mostly for the beach. And on that note I was patient this year as far as waiting for the water to warm up…

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It amazes me how naive I can be about things.

If I could call a mulligan, I’d call it for the whole day Thursday. From my new radiator which I can’t afford to… well…

It’s just been horrible. I feel empty and callous.

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