2005
10.09

I have Ebola.

Alright, I don�t really have Ebola, but I have been pretty sick the last month or two. Four trips to the ER, three infections, numerous trips to the pharmacy, and a visit to the dentist later, and I�m finally feeling better. However, before I could really be considered better, I needed a follow-up visit with my �Primary Care Physician�

Which I don�t have. We had to find one, which was a task in itself. Finally we found a guy who not only accepted my insurance, but accepted walk-ins. We got dressed, piled in the car and went to see the doctor.

The first thing I notice upon entering the building is that it�s done in my school colors. Purple and white are no more pleasing here than they were in high school. I filled out my paperwork, paid my co pay, surrendered my I.D., insurance card, and passport. Then I took a seat and waited.

And waited.

Finally, after having watched four episodes of �Rugrats�, I got called in. I went back, and sat in the chair offered me. The man sat down on the other side of the desk and said, �Hello. I�m Carlos, the physician�s assistant.� The diplomas on the wall confirmed this, so I told him my medical history, including but not limited to: my allergy to iodine, surgery when I was eight, hang-nail when I four, and my addiction to Marshmallow Fluff. He took my vitals and told me the doctor would be in to see me.

I waited some more. Then the door opened and a tall man vaguely resembling David Schwimmer walked in. He shook my hand and sat down, introducing himself.

�Hello. I�m Carlos, the physician�s assistant.�

Say What?

It was at this point that I became very wary of my medical care. I rushed through the exam and high tailed it out of the office. I never got to see a real doctor, apparently he�s only in the office one day a week. The other six, Carlos and Carlos run the show.

This brings up a good point, in all my illness, I have yet to see an actual MD. Do doctors even exist or have they become obsolete?

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