I think anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows that I’m something of a breast man. One frequent commentator on my journal (which is a less embarassing way to say “my LiveJournal“) gave me the nickname Boobiemonster, presumably because I get blue, furry and googly eyed when in the presence of especially outstanding breasts.

Now, I don’t want to seem like I am abandoning boobs – far from it – but I have come around to the other side, as it were. I have seen Vida Guerra’s ass and now, praise be the booty gods, I am a believer in the power of tush.

Vida is the cover woman on this month’s Playboy. I know this for two reasons.

1. I obsessively search for pr0n during my nearly every waking moment.
2. I subscribe and it arrived in the mailbox yesterday.

I am not going to link to pr0n, per se, but I do enjoy this YouTube video of Vida Guerra because it features a man who gets paid to rub oil on her ample assetts. For the record, “Ample Assetts” is also an excellent name for a pr0n movie or an R-rated American Pie style film about banking.

I need to pause for a moment here to repeat something about that last video. There is a man out there – presumably still alive – who was paid cash money to rub oil on Vida Guerra’s butt. You would think that he was a lucky man – that is until you see the size of her behind and realize he faced the very real danger of falling in and never coming out. But what a way to go!

We may be entering into a golden age of excellent buttocks. I thought this age was going to begin when Jennifer Lopez’s posterier rose to fame, but then she let Ben Affleck touch it and most of the rest of us decided that was kind of icky. Also, Lopez has other alleged talents that helped her rise in prominence.

Not so Vida! As near as I can tell, her tuckas is her only claim to fame. An ex-boyfriend sent in a picture of her in a thong to one of those “I don’t want to buy porn, but I want to see hot women in nearly no clothes” style magazines like FHM or Maxim and suddenly she was a superstar.

To whit, her rear has pushed her to the front of the lingerie and bikini model world.

Honestly, I had seen that YouTube vid above and wasn’t especially impressed. The Playboy cover – airbrushed though it no doubt was – has sold me on the value of her caboose. It is a gigantic work of art, comparable to similar huge national treasures, like the Washington Monument or Mount Rushmore.

Also, it gives me hope that maybe somehow, many of the women in my life with absolutely amazing backsides will let their buns be.

Apparently, Vida is topless in the magazine, too. I am ashamed to confess that I didn’t notice. Somehow, that just didn’t seem to be, you know, important.