2007
02.01

Aqua Teen Horror Force

Holy shit, this has been the best day in homeland security also, if only for this actual screen cap from Fox News.

Basically, and I mention this for future generations, some LED (aka Light BrightTM) images of a character from Cartoon Network’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force program were placed around Boston (and ten other cities) as part of a viral marketing scheme. Somebody in Boston decided that some intrepid terrorist had decided to disguise their bombs by placing them in boxes with blinking lights. The city shut down.

Honestly, this is hilarious and I would like to personally invite John, who I know is no great fan of Boston, to take some time out of his busy schedule to say a few choice words about the city officials.

You’ll be relieved to know that an arrest has been made. Some poor dude who worked for the marketing agency faces five years in prison because America in general, and Boston in specific, has turned into a nation of overreacting paranoids.

Well, maybe not “turned into.” We always have been. I mean, there was that whole Orson Welles War of the Worlds broadcast that freaked the hell out of everyone. We’re a frightened nation. We’re especially frightened of aliens, apparently.

At any rate, I have loved listening to everyone on the news calling this a bomb hoax. This is completely inaccurate.

In order for it to be a bomb hoax, I believe that there needs to be intent on the part of the party placing the fake bomb. The intent here was to advertise a movie that opens in March. Ergo, the gentleman who was arrested was not intending to create a bomb hoax. In fact, I don’t think a reasonable person would mistake this for a bomb. Crazy cat ladies, maybe, but not sane people.

No, this was more of a wide scale administrative fuck up fueled by the media paranoia machine. This was a fan-fucking-tastic news day for them. If anything, they are probably the ones most upset that:

1) They were not real bombs.

2) They weren’t smart enough to read the many message boards where people were saying, “dudes, it is just Ignignot.”

In my professional opinion, nobody should be charged with a crime here. In fact, the Department of Homeland Security, the Boston Police Force and the Boston’s Mayor Office should just issue a formal apology for totally overreacting and then turning into bullies when they realized they had tricked themselves – because they were the ones doing the tricking and they were the ones tricked.

The big shame, of course, is that most of ATHF Season Five sucked major ass. Seasons one through four still rock fairly hard though.

In conclusion, I give you John with a blistering commentary in the comments.

  1. Why thank you Joey. First, I want to thank the media for being here, and for our fellow readers, thank you for coming today.

    First, there are a couple of things that are utterly appalling about this situation. The first is that these boxes were already present in these places for several weeks. Which means that, as concerned as we are, we apparently are not as observant.

    Second, the fact these boxes are littered in almost a dozen other cities across the country, with no complaints. Either we’re not as scared as we think, or we’re not as dumb as Bostonians.

    I take that back. Everyone remembers 9/11 as two planes hitting the NYC World Trade Towers, the one Pentagon plane, and the one plane supposedly to hit Congress. What everyone forgets is where it all started, a security breech at Logan Airport.

    But guess what… everyone is talking about this. EVERYONE. This guy locked up, he’ll be out soon. He’ll be found of breaking no lawso kudos for him and Cartoon Network for this intense promotions blitz.

  2. Finally!! The dirty sanchez story!!

    But looks like Bostonians were the recipients instead of our dear Joey =|D

    Does that make their team the Dirty Sox now? (not pink Joey! ok, maybe…)

  3. they really need to get over themselves it was a harmless prank. this post 9/11 paranoia is gettin ridiculous now.