2007
01.12

Whatever. So I finally have internet at home courtesy of some one nice enough to share their Wi-Fi with me. THANK YOU!!! But the thing is I have time to sit here and go through people’s MySpace profiles and its like OMG do people really do this all the time? It’s so exhausting. I find things out about my closest through their profile?? Yeah, well, I guess we weren’t as close as I thought.

Really all I want to do is come home one night. Sprawl out of on my imaginary couch and enjoy the peace and silence of nothing. It never happens and when it does I spoil it by taking a nap. I don’t like people anymore. I’m a brilliant sales person, I think. If I really channeled my inner sales guru then I think I would make a lot more money then I do. It bothers me that people don’t remember my name anymore. Not really. They’re all fuckers. And honesty- I’m not listening to you either.

I realized while playing with my camera thingie last night that my arms aren’t fat. This had been bothering me for a while. I move furniture- up and down stairs, across the floors…heaving things over each other- if only I could incorporate that into an abs workout.

I need jeans. You know I almost got into a zero the other day. Weird. They almost fit too HAHAAHAHA- that wouldda been awesome. I have too much stress in my life lately. I think my life is going nowhere and it gives me serious anxiety.

Ok…I don’t know why I care because I don’t but I do but then I don’t…. He can so do better then her what the fuck. Man. Come on. Seriously. Seriously. Do I care? Eh… maybe he can’t.

I need my hair cut. My hairdresser apparently got terminally ill or something. I almost cried when I saw him.

My grandmother is getting bitter and I have almost lost all communication with my mother. This is a good thing but leaves me feeling guilty. Why do I feel guilty?

What the hell do I need words for? It’s not my own desperate need for me classify everything? Well, my relationship is under section D part 3 – wait!! There’s a yellow sticky on it though- put it in the yellow sticky pile. We are what we are and we’re happy that way so leave it alone.

I’m surrounded by two blood sucking wenches who are only out for themselves- I wish I could be like that man, but its not who I am…

We’re still so young and yeah we live together for like a year already and we have our little dog and I’ve spent like a week with his family and he’s spent a whole bunch with mine…. we are who we are and we’re floating. And we know that we’re monogamous. We’re in it for as long as it will go. We’re realistic.

Maybe there’s another mindset. Maybe we’re not as young as we think.

I feel like running off a dock in July. That feeling when you realize your not falling anymore and its time to swim back up to the surface… the feeling of being airborne. Yeah, there’s really something about falling and landing.

  1. Yay! Internet, goes and checks out rest of site

  2. Wow, talk about all over the road! I definitely feel the whole “not knowing my name” and “blood sucking wenches” part.

  3. I’m glad someone’s Wi-Fi is working… gah.
    I think the title was very appropriate for this – very rambling, but it sounds like you covered everything =)