2005
08.01

A thought

Though I�ve been busy with all this amusing e-drama, I have had time to sit back and reflect on who I am and what the Internet means to me.

I have realized that I am seriously lacking something.

Minions

How can I be a self-respecting webmistress without a neat little army of lackeys to do my bidding? I�m shocked I�ve made it this long without them. I have decided that something has to be done about this, so I am officially hiring minions.

Of course, not anyone will do. Seeing as my minions will reflect on myself as I person, I�ve come up with some high standards, so as to not make myself look like an idiot.

This girl, for instance, seems to have a problem with �Your� and �You�re�. I immediately discredited her comment due to her poor grammar. As my gopher, you must be able to type.

After commenting on every site under the sun, she actually decided to read the other side to the story, and promptly went around retracting her comments and denouncing her former master, Jenn.

My minions will give me their unwavering loyalty. There will be no exceptions! None! Ever!

Of course, there are perks. Like baked goods. On Arbor Day. Lots of baked goods. I�ll also be your best friend!

So all you fun people who are chomping at the bit to be my prot�g�, drop me an email at minionapply [at] Fragmentsofself [dot] com.

Please include your name, age, favorite color, credit report and SAT score.

*Baked goods and friendship not guaranteed

  1. Hm.. okay time for a question. Being as you’re supposedly one of MY minions; Would it be fair to be one of yours as well?

  2. Indeed it would. You don’t even have to apply. I know you know how to spell. =D

  3. Whoa, hold on! I’ve been doing the minions idea for years, you’re obviously stealing my ideas. I shall now go and complain to my boss Krissy about this.