Oh. My. God.

LiLo! What a mess you’ve gotten yourself in to! DUI after DUI and possession of cocaine this time!

Well, fortunately for you, I’m here with some solid career advice that will, with any luck, turn things around for you. Better listen to my advice because, girl, you need it.

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I went home today and decided to take a dip into the pool.

BUT SOMEONE STOLE IT!

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… pisses me off.

I have never in my life been so mad at a piece of fruit.

I spent the majority of the morning calling my laptop every evil name under the sun. And maybe even above it.

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