Earlier in the morning I put $10 in the gas tank. It wasn’t my car, but I was using it. You know, the whole SOME DRUNK ASSHOLE HIT MY CAR AND PUT IT OUT OF COMMISSION deal.

Anyway, so $10 is like three gallons of gas, give or take. That should be enough to get me to work and back and again to work at least. It’s a thirty mile one-way to work, so that’s about right.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

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Ketchup is by far my favorite condiment, but I hate spending ten minutes trying to open those little packets of ketchup just to get out enough to cover two fries.

The people in Collinsville, Illinois must have hated those little packets too.

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I’m a big reader, and one of my favorite authors is James Patterson. Whether it’s his “Alex Cross” series or any number of his books, I pick one up and fly through it.

The problem is, I did just that with a new book “The Quickie” he wrote, and… well… I wasn’t as pleased with it as I thought I would be.

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Oh. My. God.

LiLo! What a mess you’ve gotten yourself in to! DUI after DUI and possession of cocaine this time!

Well, fortunately for you, I’m here with some solid career advice that will, with any luck, turn things around for you. Better listen to my advice because, girl, you need it.

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I went home today and decided to take a dip into the pool.

BUT SOMEONE STOLE IT!

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… pisses me off.

I have never in my life been so mad at a piece of fruit.

I spent the majority of the morning calling my laptop every evil name under the sun. And maybe even above it.

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