Hi. I was supposed to post something witty and clever last week, but I ended up falling asleep in my Corn Flakes.

I’d introduce myself and plug my website joesalzone.com all the time, but that would be terribly tacky. So if you want to know more about me (you poor little Earthling), just sit back and do something productive — like drowning in a sea of Corn Flakes….

I got the final issue of my Rolling Stone subscription I’ll ever get unless I decide to re-subscribe.

In related news, I was filling out my subscription to Blender today…

So I’m reading about how Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are dating. Each other. I think he’s over Nicole Kidman finally, what do you think? It’s either that, or she’s Tom’s “mid-life crisis.”

Things at IRB.Radio K-IRB have taken a turn for the comedic worst. For starters, they’re now calling themselves “Ninja Pirate Radio.” But that’s optional. They even have a new logo, which scares me.

My friend Chemical is in charge with Blogathon this year. I’m really looking forward to it, especially since I’m looking to do big things. There were some problems at first, mainly that she needed a coder for the site. That’s all been solved and it looks like everything is back on track, so hopefully everything else will fall into place. More on that when it happens.

And The Lil’ Baby Moo is doing his “talking.” Lots of “Mama” and “Dada” chants from him. It’s like an old ECW crowd, except there’s no holy shit. Smelly shit yes, but nothing holy about that.

I’m watching the news last night and I see this poor chick Caroline Marcil.

If you don’t know the story, she was supposed to come out and sing the national anthem. She belted it out like crazy, but messed up a line and ran off the ice. When she came back, she fell down go boom!!

She finally got it right on Good Morning America, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she lip synced it.

In other news, the Little Baby Moo is still adorable, and he’s turning into a major terror. He’s climbing and about two shakes of a lamb’s tail from walking.

Thankfully, I’m at work when he’s causing havoc….

Whenever a film become a cult film I am always behind the times. In the cases of some cult films, like, say, The Big Lebowski, I was just a fan of the movie and suddenly it was a cult flick. In other cases, like Napoleon Dynamite, I never saw the movie and suddenly it became a cult hit. My point is, I didn’t recognize that either of these films was becoming a cult film and, thus, was unable to parlay their cult success into any improvement for my own “cool quotient.” Thus, I have decided to get in on the ground floor of a new cult film, and I’ll do this by making a specific film a cult film starting now.

Keep on reading »

There are things I figure are taught when you join the military. How to use a rifle. How to kill a man with your bare hands. How to survive in the vast nether regions of nowhere for days without food or drink.

But ballet?

PS: One day I’ll actually write something worth reading. I mean really, who do you think I am, Joey Michaels?

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