So Far: In the United States, Allison Clemens died mysteriously in some sort of explosion or attack. Following a prophecy that his sister’s family would avenge her death, her father, Jacob, contacted his Aunt Mira, who, in turn contacted her granddaughter, Diana.

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“Sheep flock to the unemployment office as Serta sales rise.”

Captions. Now.

Star Wars Episode III : Open Casting Call

You know the drill. Come up with something witty and I’ll send you a cookie.

No I won’t.

So Far: As a young girl, Meredith Bridges turned her father, Hugh, in to the government because he wanted to leave his wife, her mother. Meredith’s choice strained relations with her mother and brother, Manuel. Her father was eventually sentenced to life in San Francisco, the prison city, and Meredith decided to have nothing to do with him. However, Manuel has disappeared and, in desperate to find him, Meredith decided to meet her father face to face. Meanwhile…

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I recently conducted a search for the next John Ale. It was a tough decision, but after reviewing all the candidates, I’ve finally decided on who the next John Ale will be.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the new John Ale.

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Everyone noticed the headline in Tuesday’s New York Post that incorrectly announced that John Kerry chose Dick Gephardt as his choice to be a part of the presidential ticket for this fall’s election. But what everyone did NOT notice was this on page 13…

Kerry Sex Scandal
John Likes It Ruff

Come up with your own funny caption. Winner gets a free trip to your local bathroom!

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